Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook Session 3 Part 14: Activities Part 6

THIS SESSION IS FINALLY OVER!!!!

Anger 

Say YES or NO

I have difficulty controlling my temper YES

I have uncontrollable rages at minor events YES

I have committed a crime due to my anger NO

1. What other experiences or feelings have you experienced due to your anger?

It’s made intimate relationships difficult; I avoid certain career choices because I’m worried I’ll become too angry in them. I become consumed by my anger most of the time.

Triggers that may cause you to feel angry:

• You are experiencing emotional pain, for example, disappointment or abandonment.
• You are frustrated due to something you cannot have.
• Stress is causing you to be nervous about a situation.
• You feel attacked, unfairly criticized or shamed by someone.
• You might be experiencing physical pain.
• You might be feeling vulnerable in your emotions.
• Someone might make fun of you.
• Craving for illicit drugs or alcohol.
• You think that you may lose some choices and may want to control the situation

2. What events have triggered you in the past?

I have been triggered when someone has been mean to me (real or perceived), when I feel there is injustice (to myself or others), when my feelings are not validated, when I feel I am not being understood, when something I don’t like happens.

Understanding what aggravated your feelings of anger:

• Feeling that someone has hurt your feelings.
• You are testing your family or others as to whether they care about you.
• You fear that you may lose the love of someone you care about.
• You hit out first before they do.
• You demand the attention you so desperately crave for.
• You want revenge.
• You have strong feelings of hatred.
• You may have feelings of jealousy.
• You feel betrayed.
• You feel overwhelmed by feelings from your past, for example, guilt.
• You feel misunderstood.
• You feel that you have been lied to.
• You feel rejected or left out.
• You feel afraid and anxious.

3. What feelings have provoked your feelings of anger?

Hurt feelings, loss, attention, revenge, hatred, jealousy, betrayal, feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, rejection, anxious, feeling a sense of injustice.

Going through the feelings of your anger:

• Your muscles tighten up.
• You want to throw something or hit someone.
• You have a feeling of being out of control.
• You feel dizzy and light-headed.
• Your face feels flushed and your heart beats very fast.
• Your speech is faster and more intense.
• You might keep your anger buried inside which causes your head or stomach to ache.
• You will manipulate your needs through your anger.
• You want to cry.

4. What physical or emotional experiences have you felt when you have been angry?

My heart hurts, I can’t focus, I feel like I’m not in control, I cry/scream, I talk faster, might even breathe harder, manipulate, I become explosive.

How you communicate your anger:

• You may hit someone or something.
• You may shout and be verbally abusive.
• You may withdraw from contact with others.
• You may throw things around.
• You make threatening gestures.
• You may get involved in a physical fight with someone.
• You may self harm.
• You may make suicidal gestures.
• You may slam doors.

5. What behaviour have you acted out when angry?

I’ve hit someone or something, I shout but usually avoid being verbally abusive, I throw things (most of the time in my head), self harm, suicidal gestures (I become so overwhelmed), slam doors, make other threats (“I’ll leave you”). I do try really hard to explain why I’m angry and too listen to what the other person has to say.

The results of your anger

• You feel unable to concentrate.
• It causes you to feel frightened.
• It causes you to feel shame.
• Alienates you from your loved ones.
• Causes you to detach yourself from your feelings.
• You feel remorseful and guilty.
• Can cause you to have a criminal record and a prison sentence.
• Can be seen as a trigger to abuse alcohol or illicit drugs to cope with difficult feelings.
• Damages your reputation.
• Feeling of punishing yourself and others.
• Can ruin your peace of mind.
• Cause problems with your career.
• Spoils relationship with your loved ones.
• Damage your health.

6. What have been some of the after effects of your anger?

Shame, alienation, detachment, guilt, feelings of punishing myself, self harm. The odd time I’ve communicated correctly or just said the right thing and people understand why I’m upset.

Self-Identity

Say YES or NO

I find it difficult to verbalise my feelings NO

I am not fulfilling my intellectual potential NO

I feel evil and bad NO

I am unable to discipline myself e.g. stick to a diet NO

I feel shame and guilt YES

I feel ugly and unattractive NO

I feel lost and find it difficult to trust people NO

I hate myself and think others hate me too NO

I feel that whatever I do is not good enough NO

I crave approval from others YES

1. Are there any other problems about how you see yourself that were not mentioned above?

How I feel about myself is 100% dependent on what mood I’m in. If I’m angry then everything about me is horrible. If I’m happy then I’m great!

2. Do you know who you really are? Describe what it’s like to be you.

It’s hectic to be me but worth it. I am a really good person, who enjoys being around others and helping/supporting people. I have rages and I know I need to work on it. I wish more people would accept me for who I am because I do want to be comfortable in my skin. But is this who I really am? I say yes. Who can really tell me otherwise?

End of Session Questionnaire

1. What are 3 important things you will take away from this session?

1. My anger is my biggest problem.
2. I am not as impulsive as I used to be.
3. I overall do not fit with BPD symptoms like I used too.

Next: Session 4

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