Who Needs Coping?
Screw coping techniques!
Not really but I’m in such a state that wandering around my house aimlessly and looking around with a hopeless, sad, “wtf” expression is all I can do right now.
Thinking is deadly. I’m very close to taking some Seroquel and going to bed even though it’s 8:20 pm (at the time I write this sentence). I’m just done. My mind needs to shut up, my mouth needs to shut up.
I’m getting so angry, at everything really. It’s all whirling around in my head so I don’t know if it can come out right here.
Everything is unfair, I am failing and I am damaged. That’s all their is too it. People helped turn me into this thing and I would like to think that it can all be undone but it doesn’t seem to be happening. Total failure.
Scrambled all up in my mind. I know there are people I can go to but they’ll want an explanation so it would just be best for me to avoid that. So, no where to go.
They fucked me up and I continue to do the job for them. I’ll sit here with it. I won’t do anything with it. I can’t cope with this. I’m safe. But I can’t cope with this.
Posted on January 13, 2013, in Personal and tagged anger, BPD, coping, fail, hopeless, mental health, mental illness, sadness. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.
I’m sorry you’re not doing well. Please consider going back on meds.
I will never fully go back on meds. Some may see that as careless but I know what happens when I am on them and it’s not going to work. I could make better use of the Seroquel that I have.
We are here. We are listening.
Thank you. I’ve calmed down since I wrote this post
Hugs
Hugs!!!
I nearly cried when reading your posting. So it’s great to hear you have calmed down a bit since writing it. Just know there is an unknown female, many many thousands of miles away, who cares and is rooting for you. Namely, Me.
BIGGEST hugs
jane
Thank you so much! That means a lot to me
I’ll remember that next time! HUGS!!!!
I’m sorry.
Hang in there. Did you just recently stop the meds? Sometimes stopping them can cause these weird mood swings and stuff too.
I haven’t been on meds since 2007 :p I was on them for a year at the most. I have Seroquel for when I need it and I usually do not need it. I mostly use it at night to make my mind settle down so I can have a better sleep.
I’m alright now! I have these mood swings all on my own