Who Needs Coping?
Screw coping techniques!
Not really but I’m in such a state that wandering around my house aimlessly and looking around with a hopeless, sad, “wtf” expression is all I can do right now.
Thinking is deadly. I’m very close to taking some Seroquel and going to bed even though it’s 8:20 pm (at the time I write this sentence). I’m just done. My mind needs to shut up, my mouth needs to shut up.
I’m getting so angry, at everything really. It’s all whirling around in my head so I don’t know if it can come out right here.
Everything is unfair, I am failing and I am damaged. That’s all their is too it. People helped turn me into this thing and I would like to think that it can all be undone but it doesn’t seem to be happening. Total failure.
Scrambled all up in my mind. I know there are people I can go to but they’ll want an explanation so it would just be best for me to avoid that. So, no where to go.
They fucked me up and I continue to do the job for them. I’ll sit here with it. I won’t do anything with it. I can’t cope with this. I’m safe. But I can’t cope with this.