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THE MADNESS VASE/THE NUTRITIONIST
This is a poem by ANDREA GIBSON. I thought it was amazing and wanted to share it with you all. Again, I did not write this poem. I’m not this good :p
THE MADNESS VASE/THE NUTRITIONIST
by: Andrea Gibson
The nutritionist said I should eat root vegetables,
said if I could get down thirteen turnips each day
I would be grounded, rooted.
Said my head would not keep flying away to where the darkness lives.
The psychic told me my heart carries too much weight,
said for twenty dollars she’d tell me what to do.
I handed her the twenty and she said, “Stop worrying, darling,
you will find a good man soon.”
The first psycho-therapist said I should spend three hours a day
sitting in a dark closet with my eyes closed and my ears plugged.
I tried it once but couldn’t stop thinking
about how gay it was to be sitting in the closet.
The yogi told me to stretch everything but the truth,
said focus on the out breath,
said everyone finds happiness
if they can care more about what they can give
than what they get.
The pharmacist said Klonopin, Lamictal, Lithium, Xanax.
Read in full at:
http://stayherewithme.com/the-madness-vasethe-nutritionist/
How I Participated in Self Care Yesterday
Should have written this yesterday but it was a busy day!!
I participated in self care yesterday by making a doctor’s appointment for a physical examination and an HIV test. I’m overdue for a physical and since taking the AIDS course online I have been thinking how it is silly of me to now know my HIV status. I have no reason to think I have HIV but it should be a part of my general health to know my sero status!
All of that will happen in early May.
Neglecting The Mental Health Analysis
I began reading One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest last week and reading the first part of the forward got me thinking about how the mental health perspective, as a way of analysis, is ignored.
The forward is written by the author Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club, Choke) and in the first sentence he states that some people he loves, hate this book. He explains that people find it racist and sexist because Ken Kesey (the author of Cuckoo’s Nest) portrays women as “frigid monsters” or “whores” and blacks as “sadistic sodomites”. What is Kesey trying to say about women and blacks in this book by portraying them so negatively? He must be a racist and sexist asshole! Palahniuk says that we need to put race and gender aside (the blatant negative depiction of Nurse Ratched and the Aides is to surface of an analysis for me) and see Cuckoo’s Nest as showing the paradox of living in a modern democracy of only two political parties.
“How can you live within a democracy that expects you to vote and participate, to hold an opinion and vote thereby control and be responsible for your society-but at the same time, you must surrender and follow the will of others if even the slimmest majority disagrees with you?” -Chuck Palahniuk, Forward, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest
Palahniuk is on to something there! I completely agree with him but I still feel a very important perspective is missing and it should really be the most obvious: the mental health perspective.
Is it just me or is not trying to understand a story that takes place in a psychiatric hospital from a mental health perspective a little weird? I think it further shows how society forgets people with mental health issues and feels that their experience is not valid and I guess not intelligent enough to deserve an analysis of its own.
My 18 year old sister encountered this in one of her university English classes last year. She was writing an essay on The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. My sister wrote about having neurosis and how it is stopping Gilman from fulfilling her duties as a mother, wife and the woman she wants to be. Her professor commented that no student had ever 
written this essay using a mental health analysis. Up until my sister, students had been handing in essays that talk about how women’s oppression caused Gilman to descend into madness, the pressure to be a wife and a mother were too much to take. The students neglected to look at the most obvious perspective, mental health but this could most likely be because it is a perspective that is just not talked about in academia.
I do agree that mental health can be linked to feminism. I do not think that it is a coincidence that women are more likely to be diagnosed with depressive mood disorders (passive) and men are more likely to be diagnosed with schizophrenia and ADD (aggressive/active). I have said on this blog and in my life that I believe part of the reason I have been diagnosed borderline is because I am an angry woman. But to ignore the actual mental health component is unjust.
We
need to look at Cuckoo’s Nest through a mental health lens. Analyze the power imbalance between patient and staff, sane vs. insane, what does being insane mean, how are men viewed in mental health, patient rebellion and attitudes toward alternative treatment. Knowing this can help further our understanding of the mental health experience and how we can improve policy, treatment and social campaigns.
Self Medication
I just finished watching part 1 of Stephen Fry’s “The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive” on YouTube. I’m really enjoying it 
(Thanks Kevin)
At one point Fry briefly speaks about self medication and how he used cocaine and vodka to help him get through his manic depression. I personally used cutting, alcohol, the occasional drug and sex.
Something hit me though when I was listening to him speak and this I feel like the term “self medication” devalues our own ability to make ourselves feel better.
Just because a doctor does not prescribe a medication/treatment/whatever does not mean that what we chose to do should be looked down upon.
It is also interesting that self medication is usually, if not always, something that is labelled as bad. If it is something “good” then it’s not called self medication at all. It’s called coping or self care.
To cover my butt, I am not saying that abusing alcohol or self harming (etc) are good things. These can hurt you and sometimes kill you. I do acknowledge though that these are valid ways of coping that people use to get through live.
We need to believe that we are able to make decisions for ourselves. We know what will work for us and not all of those answers can come from doctors.
A Patient Contract
I found this on Psychology Today and thought it was great! This is something we need in mental health and all healthcare! You can print this contract out and have your doctor sign it!
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/owning-pink/201204/patient-contract
Imagine if you and your doctor signed a contract like this:
As patient and doctor, you and I are entering into a partnership. As such—and with all due respect—I’d like to clarify a few things about the terms of this partnership and how I hope we can work together with the mutual goal of my whole health and healing.
My Voice Matters
I agree to speak up and use the voice of my intuition and my own self-healing knowledge. I understand that you are not giving orders, but rather you are giving advice based on your knowledge, training, and intuition. Both of our voices are equally important if we are to be partners. I am not here to be “fixed” because I am not broken. I am here to be supported, guided, and given the tools to support my own healing process.
I Can Heal Myself
Just as my arm can knit and heal when it breaks, the rest of me is capable of self-healing as well. As my doctor you will act as my proverbial plaster cast, but my own self-healing mechanisms will need to do the rest. I fully believe that I already have within me the power to heal myself. When we meet, I will gaze, with love, into the mirror you hold up for me so that I may see what I need in order to optimize my wellness and happiness, so that I may live the most joyous, vibrant, fulfilling, sexy, healthy life possible. Although you will support me, by educating me, giving me choices, answering my questions, and making recommendations, I know that I am here to be the force behind my own healing. You may offer me the tools you have become an expert in providing—drugs, surgeries, and any other treatments you deem helpful, but I understand that I must do the heavy lifting myself.
If I am not ready, willing, or able to be a proactive force in my own healing process, you will be here to nurture and support me, but I understand that the process will be less powerful, with less dramatic results.
You Won’t Blame Me & I Won’t Blame Myself
You will not blame me for being sick, depressed, or otherwise in need of healing. If I did bring this upon myself, you will treat me with compassion, not judgment. During this process I will not blame myself either, even if my body decided that the only way to get my attention was via this health condition. I vow to be kind, loving, and nonjudgmental with myself, as well. I will simply accept my body’s wisdom with compassion and love and try my best to listen when it whispers.
I also realize that you’re not suggesting that every illness or problem will be cured, either by my hands or yours. We both know that healing and curing are different, and that one can happen without the other. Although our goal will always be to achieve both, we will both understand that we must set goals, but release attachment to outcomes and surrender to Divine will. In this very surrender, healing lies.
We Are Equals
Although you spent many years training to earn the right to be my doctor, you are not “better” than me, and as such, you will treat me as a cherished equal. I’m the one living with my health conditions, and no one knows my body better than I do. If I come to you after accessing Doctor Google, you will listen to my intuition regarding what I think may be in need of healing. In order for our partnership to be successful, we must—absolutely must—respect each other. I will not put you on a pedestal, and you will not look down upon me. When possible, you will make every attempt to speak to me when we are both dressed, and you will only leave me naked and feeling vulnerable in the brief moments when you need to examine me.
You accept that your time is not more valuable than mine. You will make every attempt to avoid making me wait for my appointment, and I will not be late. When we spend time together, you will focus your full attention on me, and I on you.
Please, Don’t Forget That Love Heals
If you have to share something with me that might make me scared, please do it with compassion. If you have to tell me I have cancer, or my baby died, I’d love for you to give me a hug and tell me that you’re here with me. Patients like me need to feel we’re not alone. If that feels uncomfortable for you, at least offer me kind words to reassure me that we’re in this together.
Trust My Intuition
You will call upon your knowledge, experience, and resources to offer me recommendations for preventative care, diagnostic workups, and treatment plans, but you will also invite me to listen to the intuition of my healing inner wisdom, my body, and my soul. You’ll understand that the reason I visit Doctor Google is to garner knowledge about my illness and to tap into that knowledge to see what might fit with my intuition. I do this not because I don’t trust you, but because it’s the only way I feel empowered.
You will offer me your best guidance based on your expertise, and you will explain why you make the recommendations you do, but you will always respect my autonomy, without judgment. You will not take it personally if I question you. If I choose not to follow your advice, we will negotiate another plan that resonates with my intuition. In exchange, I agree to follow through on any treatment plan we agree upon. If our treatment plan does not resonate with my body’s wisdom, or if I have financial constraints, I will tell you so that we can modify our plan. Follow through is key. We must walk this path together in order to manifest the results I know we can achieve together.
Ultimately, the choices for how we proceed will always be a compromise between my intuition and yours. If you are unable to provide the care I need or desire, you will release me to follow my heart or find another provider without taking it personally. I will understand if our current medical-legal climate makes you cover your ass sometimes, and I won’t take it personally.
You Believe In Me
You believe in my capacity to heal from any illness, trauma, or loss, even if other doctors have deemed me “incurable.” As such, you will never view me as hopeless or broken. You will tell it to me straight so I understand science and statistics, but you will never tell me hope is gone, because miracles happen, and I have the power to enable them.
We Must Be Honest With Each Other
We have to be open and tell the truth, even if it is painful or uncomfortable. You will promise me confidentiality, and I promise to tell you anything you need to know in order to provide the best medical care possible. We must trust that we are safe together, so we can explore things that may be tough to explore. We must open our hearts to the loving kindness and compassion that is a necessary part of any healing relationship.
You Are Only Human
As your patient, I will understand that you, like me, are a mere mortal, prone to mistakes, flaws, insecurities, ego, fatigue, tears, and distractions in your personal life. I will not put you on a pedestal, and I will cut you some slack if you’re less than perfect, just as you will do with me. If you let me down, I will tell you gently, rather than bottling it up and storing it as resentment against you. In return, you will share with me how you feel about our relationship. If at any point, one of us cannot meet the other’s needs, we are free to dissolve this relationship at any time with loving kindness and compassion. You’re Doing The Best You Can, And So Am I.
As patient and doctor, we agree to accept that we’re both doing the best we can at any given time, and we won’t always get it right. We commit to open communication, mutual respect, a belief in the infinite capacity for whole health and healing, and a dedication to cherishing the process and viewing health issues as an opportunity to seek higher ground.
We acknowledge that, between you and me, anything is possible.
Are you on board? If so, sign here.
X marks the spot,
Your Patient Read the rest of this entry
