I Wanna Run Away and Never Say Goodbye

(Yay for an LP title!)

I’m seeing J today.

I don’t want to talk about anything but if I don’t talk then I feel like I’m wasting her time.

I’ve always wanted to just runaway from my bullshit but since losing my fire I’ve put in more effort to try and escape.

It’s causing problems in me and outside of me.

Such inner agitation that I have to physically make my body twitch so I can feel relief for 3 seconds.

I feel like such a contradiction and I know all of you will tell me not to worry about it! *hugs*

Oh perfect, and uplifting song just came on!

Here is is just in case anyone else feeling low today

Daily Prompt: Take It From Me

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve given someone that you failed to take yourself?

“Get out of your relationship, it’s not good for you!”

“You don’t need to be in a relationship! There is nothing wrong with being single.”

“You won’t find who is right for you while you stay in this bad relationship.”

I have GREAT relationship advice but I never take it myself. I have found myself repeatedly in predominantly emotionally abusive and controlling relationships, knowing I should leave and I do not.

I am not in that relationship now but majority of these horrible relationships were ended by my partner because they got tired of me. I should have ended these relationships when they told me what to wear, who I could hang out, who I could talk to, where I could go, when they went through my phone, email, and journal, when they called me names and made me feel like I was nothing.

It makes me feel like a hypocrite but it’s always harder to do things when it is our own live and we have to experience the consequences first hand.

Thought #5: Middle Ground

Thought: It seems like mental health is all or nothing. You’re either crazy or you’re normal. Last I checked extreme binary thinking is a symptom of my supposed diagnosis, BPD! Seems a little hypocritical. Anyways, there needs to be middle ground in our emotions. Just because you behave a little differently from what others would like shouldn’t mean you’re mentally ill and just because you follow the conduct shouldn’t mean you’re normal. Let’s so more of that grey you’ve been condemning me for not seeing!