I’m seeing from a different perspective the damage of having a victim mentality/identity. It is where all the blackness comes from when you have mental health issues. It’s just this hopeless, damning, oppressive identity and way of thinking that I can’t see a way for anyone to recover or manage while embracing the victim so willingly.
I may piss people off by saying that they willingly embrace being so damn unhappy but how can I say otherwise when I went from victim to in control? I can’t! Part of my point for writing this blog is to show people, “sane” and “insane”, that change is possible and actually, not just possible, 100% achievable.
We are victims of one thing that I know for sure and that is living in a society and being apart of a system that sees us as victims, as weak, as doomed and as predominantly stuck. We in turn believe this bullshit and embrace the victim identity and mentality because no one is giving us anything else! I believe this is why we need to go outside of our current mental health system and find those groups and people who see our true potential. We need to get positive thinking into mental health. There’s no point in having all these suicide awareness campaigns and pumping money into suicide prevention if the message is still “without my medication, without professional help for the rest of my life I will become nothing.”
It hurt me to hear “I can’t be happy” and even worse “this is how I am”. I do ascribe to the believe of neurodiversity that I have spoken about in a past blog (http://prideinmadness.wordpress.com/2011/12/28/neurodiversity-stigma/) but I do NOT believe that human beings are unchanging, unable to improve and not in control of their minds. Those beliefs create a victim. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!
We can almost literally change everything about us deemed to be controlled by genetics. I can dye my hair, I can change my eye colour, my skin colour, my voice, my height, my weight, for fuck sakes we live in a beautiful world where we can change our biological sex! Why should anyone believe that we are at the mercy of our emotions and behaivours? What is so concrete about our emotions and behaviours that they should be excluded from this list?! There is no reason!
I cannot sit by and let people think and be slaves to their illness! If people with other illnesses did this it would be a disaster and people would think that they are being silly! If you have difficulty walking or do not have any use of your legs what do you do? Not ever walk? NO! You get a wheelchair, a walker, crutches, a cane, a service animal! You get something that makes it easier for you to live! You DO NOT sit there and think that you will never be able to walk when there are resources out there for you to use to get you moving!
I try every day. It’s not like I decided to be happy and functional one day and I’ve been in that state since that moment. NO ONE STAYS HAPPY AND NO ONE STAYS FUNCTIONAL! I expect to get upset, I expect to get really upset but I also expect to be happy but I decide when that is or at the least decide how to deal with those emotions and behaviours if there is a slip.
I have friends who do the exact same as me! I have friends who have experienced things that I don’t want to imagine (although I do not like to compare pain) and have come out on top or are climbing to the top! They inspire me and I inspire them! Let yourself be inspired!
If you think you’re hopeless you will get no where and that is not fair to you! Don’t do that to yourself! If I had done that….well….let’s just say I’m happier here. I don’t care that it was hard, that’s not an excuse. It was worth everything for me to get to where I am now.