I Hope I Have The Courage….

It is strange how I can talk about suicide. I can talk about the mean things people have said to me. I can talk about how I’ve overcome all my crap but I still feel afraid to talk about certain parts of my life.

There are 2 influential parts of my life that I have not spoken about in this blog and never speak about due to the stigma surrounding those incidents.

What I do want to blog about is an issue that has shaped my whole opinion on mental health that I do talk about (and slowly have….http://prideinmadness.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/antidepressant-suicide-ironic/) is the harmful, sometimes deadly, adverse affects of psychiatric medication.

I am still afraid to voice this view because too many see it as “an opinion” when it is really a fact. It is a fact that no one takes seriously until they experience it. It is a fact that is documented by pharmaceutical companies but they hide it and doctors hide it or worse, don’t know about it.

I am looked down on for saying, “psychiatric medication caused me to attempt suicide”, people think I’m clinically paranoid, a scientologist, or a conspiracy theorist. This means that the drug companies (Eli Lilly, Pfizer, GlaxoSmithKline etc) have won in keeping the population in its place.

Answers that matter??? Yeah ok....

 

 

THIS IS REAL!!!!

I feel the biggest part of the problem is not really ignorance to the data. I can go to any drug fact sheet and find suicidality and homicidal tendencies (save that for another blog) as possible side effects. I have heard doctors admit it (just not mine). The ignorance is in the prevalence of these possibly deadly and damaging side effects.

In Fall 2011 I attend CTV’s Canada AM Town Hall on Suicide and it was an extremely depressing experience. I was terrified to be there alone but I knew I had to be there (I feel scared just thinking about it). A woman did what I could not do, then, and asked the doctor on the panel about the suicidality of antidepressants.  She was shot down. The doctor said “a small but real number” of young people and I guess I can give him credit for that but he still put more focus on how people are committing suicide BECAUSE they are not on medication.

I AM TIRED OF BEING PUSHED TO THE SIDE!

Michael and I watched an old radio show clip from back in the day when people were just starting to hear that cigarettes caused lung cancer. The host said that even though a few scientists are saying that the majority of cigarette smokers a not getting cancer (we know better now) we still need to worry about the MINORITY that are getting cancer! This belief seems to translate into many area of life, that the minority needs help, but in mental health this is not so. We are still rest assured that more people than not are having positive experiences with psych medication but this leaves people such as myself shoved aside and desperately trying to find a safe treatment in a system that doesn’t have enough options. 

On February 8th I am attending Canada AM’s town hall on child and youth mental health. I am guaranteed to be able to ask a question to the panel of “experts” a question.

Here it is…….

“Hello, my name is Kristen and when I was 16 years old I was diagnosed with chronic depression which I have since recovered from. I was put on Prozac and Zyprexa and while on these two drugs experienced the adverse side effect of suicidality after only a few months. I survived my attempt but now I was faced with even less treatment options because I swore I would never go back on something that had almost killed me. I am tired of my experience being labeled as “small” and a “minority” and I want something to be done about this deadly side effect. My question is, with the knowledge of suicidality as a side effect of antidepressants and antipsychotics, especially in children, youth and young adults, what is being done to make these drugs safer for young people?”

I’m terrified.