“Having spent 40 years hiding the fact that I heard voices, now I’m talking about it openly … I accept my voices as real,” says Healey. “The positive response I get gives me energy. When you’re hiding something … those are the things that make you ill.”- Kevin Healey
A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and Michael and I are going to do it for 2013
Double feature since I forgot yesterday!
Day 13: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable are you with it?
I’m fairly comfortable with my body. There is some aspects of it that I could work on just in the sense that I should be more physically fit. If I could change one thing it would be my scars. I wish my body wasn’t as scarred up as it is. I can only do so much with that and I am, overall, comfortable with my body.
Day 14: What you wore today
Pink tights, and a dress I took from my bestie who didn’t want it. It’s my Thanksgiving dinner with my family today!
I have been nominated by Mental Health Talk (and fellow Canadian!) for the Sunshine Award! Thank you so much!!!! <3
This award is for the amazing bloggers that contribute to the community their positive and/or inspirational postings! We love you for it!
The rules for the Sunshine Award are:
1. Thank the person who nominated you and write a post about it.
2. Answer ten questions about yourself.
3. Pass the award on to 10 or 12 bloggers you enjoy (or I say however many you want!), link to their blogs, and let them know you nominated them.
- Favorite drink? Caesars
- Favorite food? Pickles
- Age? 23
- Favorite time of day? Afternoon
- Favorite time of year? Sweater Weather time
- Favorite animal? White Tigers
- Favorite movie? Impossible to decide!
- Favorite vacation? My 21st Birthday in Las Vegas with my partner!
- Physical activity? Walking
- Favorite thing? Reading a good book!
The Solipsistic Me who continue to acknowledges not only bigotry but those who are making the world a better place!
We’re All Mad Inhere who posts the most amazing and creative finds that help you forget what you’re upset about!
The Bipolar Place who keeps me happy with fun music videos, jokes, film reviews and overall awesomeness!
Movingtonewyork who inspired me to write 101 Things That Make Me Happy!
I never thought that being left handed was something bad. I also never thought that I was being discriminated against by the world I live in for using my other hand.
In 2008 I discovered Left Hander’s Day (http://www.lefthandersday.com/) and realized that in every day products, such as scissors, prevent me from achieving my full potential. I live in a world that was not designed for me.
Some left handed products:
- Baseball gloves
- Computer mouse
- Guitars and other musical instruments
- Work tools (ie: table saw, chainsaw)
- Kitchen tools (ie: can opener, peeler)
Stores that sell left handed products:
I love being left handed! It was cool being 1 of 2 or 3 lefties in my class at school. It’s nice to feel unique!
I feel that lefties are highly adaptable and many of us probably don’t realize, especially as we get older, that we’ve adapted so well! What I find interesting is that lefties usually have their own style of doing things. Because no one has taught us how to for example, write, in a way that is suitable for left handed people we come up with out own ways. I tried very hard to imitate how right handers wrote so I write straight across the page, smudging my words as I go. My younger sister though writes with her hand curved over her words so she can read what she is writing which is something right handed people can do (I can’t). We both also maneuver the page so we can see our words better.
I can do some things that right handed people can do. I can play guitar right handed and can use a computer mouse with my right hand.
Left handed people are such a beautiful example of how humans can adapt to their surroundings but also that more needs to be done to ensure that the younger leftie generation has the same opportunity as right handed young people to feel comfortable in the world.
My previous post looked at some of the ways being left handed can “screw you for life.” It’s not all bad though! Here are some positive things about being left handed!
#1. Left handers are more likely to be geniuses! 20% of a MENSA members report being left handed!
#2. A study found that left handed men were, on average, were 15% more likely to be richer than right handed men who attended college, and 25% richer if they graduated!
#3. Research shows that lefties are better at handling large amounts of stimuli which makes them naturally better at playing video games!
#4. Four of the five original designers of Mac computer were left handed!
#5. Lefties makes better artists!
#6.Lefties are better at sports (tennis, boxing, swimming, fencing)!
#7. Lefties are better at 3D perception and thinking!
#8. Lefties are better at multitasking!
#9. Lefties recover from strokes faster!
#10. One of the few items in common use that is actually advantageous for left-handers is the QWERTY keyboard. Over 3000 words in English can be typed with only the left hand on the QWERTY board as opposed to some 300 with the right hand, and overall, 56% of the keystrokes made when touch-typing on a QWERTY board are made with the left hand!
#11. Lefties are more adaptable than righties!
There are also POSITIVE connotations for left handedness!
- Indigenous peoples of the Andes consider that left-handers possess special spiritual abilities, including magic and healing.
- In China and Japan, the formula “man left, woman right” (男左女右, nán zuǒ, nǚ yòu) expresses the traditional concept that the left is the yang (阳, yáng) direction and side of the body. The character for “left”, 左, also depicts a left hand attending to its work. In contrast, the character for “right”, 右 (yòu), depicts a right hand in relation to the mouth, suggesting the act of eating.
- In Tantric Buddhism, the left hand represents wisdom.
- In Russian, “levsha” (lefty, lefthander) became a common noun for skilled craftsman.
WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!!!
So far I have explained what a personality disorder is medically and one way that I have been perceived by another. One more comment to add to that perception before I move on.
It is extremely dangerous to define someone by their symptoms and illness like this stupid man did! We are all unique and have good and bad parts about us! We should be seen as WHOLE human beings, not just silly checklist symptoms! We are more complex than that!
So….Borderline Personality Disorder……hmmmmmmm
There are no statistics in Canada that talk about the prevalence of this disorder (unlike depression). USA stats show that as of 2008 6% of the population will have BPD and most will be women. About 1 in 100 adults….which would explain why I can’t find a BPD buddy! (http://www.camh.net/About_Addiction_Mental_Health/Mental_Health_Information/BPD/about%20BPD.html#WhatisBPD)
I personally feel that, compared to the few others with BPD that I’ve spoken too, that I’m not greatly affected by the disorder. I’ve always considered myself to be a “mild” case. This could be because I may more so have the tendencies. The psychiatrist did base the diagnosis off of how I used to behave and very little on how I currently was.
The biggest traits that I feel I portray are the intense rage and split thinking (black and white).
I really don’t just get anger. I do go into a rage very quickly over many things that I feel hurt me. The problem, I find, isn’t whether or not I should be upset with the situation but I find it difficult to control how upset I get. So it’s not the situation, it’s my response which then wrecks any valid point I may have because I’m screaming and throwing stuff around. All while this is happening though I’m yelling at myself in my head to stop but it’s like rolling a ball down a hill. I can’t stop until I reach the bottom or something gets in my way.
I may be screaming and yelling but no one is listening. People shut down when I go into a rage and rightfully so. This hurts me more because even though I know inside I’m expressing myself in the wrong way I really need someone to listen to me. I am angry because I am hurt and I want that hurt to go away.
The rage is very painful. It doesn’t just cause emotional damage to myself and those it’s directed at but it also physically hurts me. When I am that angry the risk of me self harming increases. I’ll usually bang my head against something when I’m angry and the coming down into sadness is when I’m more likely to cut although I’m less impulsive when I’m sad so I can usually avoid that self harm method. There was an incident of where I had worked myself up to the point of where I was experiencing pain in my heart. That scared me so much that I was able to quickly pull myself out of the rage and began breathing because I knew I had gone to far.
It’s in a rage that other traits to come out such as impulsiveness and overall instability commonly associated with BPD. It’s this rage that can make my personal relationships, image of myself and my life unstable.
My split thinking really doesn’t bother me and has been more helpful than destructive. Experiencing BPD has sometimes been described as not having an “emotional skin”. Splitting is my skin. I do have the ability to see grey in certain things or eventually see them in situations I didn’t earlier but for the most part seeing things as all good or all bad has protected me from getting too emotionally invested in issues I shouldn’t. If someone wrongs me it doesn’t bother me to push them out of my life. For example: one of my friend’s said extremely hurtful things about me behind my back and it didn’t pain me for a second to not talk to him for a few years. Because of how emotional I can get splitting helps me not waste my time and cope in a way that for once doesn’t hurt me.
The splitting helps with the good because I think it is important to go all in to something (some would argue this is the attachment issues that are associated with BPD). If you don’t know when stop giving it your all that is when you will run into problems but for the most part I know when that point is.
There is a horrible book out there called The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty by Simon Baron-Cohen. I haven’t read it but I glanced inside and as the description says:“Borderline personality disorder, autism, narcissism, psychosis, Asperger’s: All of these syndromes have one thing in common–lack of empathy. In some cases, this absence can be dangerous, but in others it can simply mean a different way of seeing the world.”
I can agree that a lack of empathy can be dangerous and we have seen that in the world (ie: Hitler) but I think overall the concept of empathy is in the eye of the beholder. I should be able to decide when being empathetic is important. I can’t be empathetic all the time! Not everyone and every situation deserves that energy! (Is this rant proof of those with BPD not having empathy?)
This book also bothers me because right off the bat in the title it is giving the reader no chance to judge for themselves who the people experiencing these disorders are. I know I immediately thought that this man was calling people with borderline personality disorder evil. I thought about how much empathy I have and was greatly offended.
Also to top it off he used an example of an unempathetic “borderline” that hits way too close to home. January 1, 2008 my friend, Stefanie Rengel, was murdered by an idiot, David. He did it because his stupid girlfriend, Melissa, thought Stef was a threat to their relationship. David stabbed her multiple times and left her bleeding in the snow to die only a few houses away from her own. Both were sentenced as adults and are in prison. Melissa was diagnosed as BPD which infuriated me! I didn’t want the bitch who murdered my friend to share that link with me! I believe there is nothing wrong with her except being stupid in thinking murder was the way to get what she wanted! So…..the author of The Science of Evil used MY FRIEND’S MURDER AS AN EXAMPLE OF MY ILLNESS! This boosted up the offensiveness big time!!!! I WOULD NEVER KILL SOMEONE but yet this is the impression that this author wants to leave his readers with of BPD…….
When I’m not in a rage I swear no one would call me a mental illness of any kind and that is commonly what I’m told when people find out I have a diagnosis. This still begs the question “what does crazy look like”. Crazy looks like you and me! But anyways, my good traits I feel or more numerous than my bad. I am very compassionate, have a lot of friends, am great with kids (which is my job), I love to socialize, I’m funny, I’m very nice, empathetic, open-minded, nonjudgmental (where it’s important), understanding and I feel a really good person overall!
We all have our flaws and I find it unfortunate that mine have been deemed disordered but I will always go about my life, doing my thing and just being happy!
I’m teaching character education at work and while looking for activities or games to teach things like trust and courage I stumbled across a list entitled “25 Good Things About Having ADHD” (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). I stop and took in what I was seeing! I was very surprised to see a list of positives about something that is usually extremely negative! I have a few children at work that are labelled ADD and ADHD and when they are constantly interrupting and not listening the frustrations run high. These are NOT bad children! This is why I’m glad we have this list available for staff!
25 Good Things About Having ADHD
Compiled from families with children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
- Lots of energy
- Willing to try things-take risks
- Ready to talk, can talk a lot
- Gets along well with adults
- Can do several things at one time
- Need less sleep
- Good sense of humor
- Very good at taking care of younger kids
- See details other people miss
- Understand what it’s like to be teased or to be in trouble so are understanding of other kids
- Can think of different and new ways to do things
- Volunteer to help others
- Happy and enthusiastic
- Imaginative creative
- Articulate- can say things well
- Sensitive- compassionate
- Eager to make new friends
- Great memory
- More fun to be with than most kids
- Warm and loving
- Care a lot about families
ALL MENTAL ILLNESSES NEED A “Good Things” LIST!
I mentioned some good things about being labelled borderline in a past blog (http://prideinmadness.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/how-borderline-personality-disorder-possibly-saved-my-life/). Things such as splitting and anger, for me, have been very beneficial for me. Splitting allows me to let go of things and people that are not good for me. Anger allows me to express myself and keep myself self emotionally which is something I couldn’t do before.
Majority of mental health is negative. The diagnosis specifically focuses on what is “flawed” about us and we become so engrossed in that negative because that’s all we’ve been given. If we can focus on the positives that are still in our lives than managing and recovering can begin to occur!
By recognizing positives in having a mental illness you can combat both social and self stigma!
What is a positive that you have been in experiencing your specific mental illness/addiction?