Dying To Get In

Bell can run their campaign. Everyone can run their campaigns to reduce stigma around mental illness in the hope of encouraging people to seek treatment but these campaigns mean shit all when the treatment these organizations are telling us too seek are so difficult to get into.

If you have the cash, great, yay for you, go into the private sector where they can basically see you the day you call. But considering individuals with mental health issues usually on the low income level of the scale of wealth (like myself) the private sector is not an option. It’s doesn’t even enter my mind as an option. We need to use the public sector.

I work in the public sector and I owe a lot to the public sector but the wait lists that come along with it can be deadly. I spent about 3 years in public mental health outpatient care and how I got in so quickly was by attempting suicide. I didn’t know this would bump me to the front of the line but it did. Before the attempt I was told I may have to wait 6 months.

On some level I do agree with priority but I also know that just because I’m doing ok when I call to be put on the waiting list doesn’t mean that I’ll be remain that way until you call to give me an appointment. There is a risk when you are on a wait list that you may fully fall between the cracks.

When I knew I wasn’t at risk for a suicide attempt the longest I had to wait to get an appointment was 3 months. It is the wait list length that encouraged me to stay in therapy for long periods of time. I didn’t want to have to wait again!

When my relationship was starting to fall apart about a year and a half ago I found CAMH’s new Borderline Clinic. I knew I was going to have to wait but I strongly felt like I couldn’t. I felt that if I didn’t get in, fix myself and fix my relationship then my life was going to fall apart! I spent a week or two thinking of ways that I could get myself in the hospital but not die. It was a very stupid plan and I’m glad I pushed it out of mind!

It’s a major flaw in the system when people need to think about damaging themselves to get into a program to help them get better.

I found out in December that the wait list for that program is 2 YEARS! The longest wait list I’ve ever heard!

I’m currently waiting to hear back from Planned Parenthood about when my appointment is to see their social worker. I was told it could take up to 5 months and I’ve been waiting for almost 3 months. They operate off of first come first serve instead of priority.

How to solve the wait list problem? Funding! We need more funding to mental health services! If you want to help with stigma, help by providing accessible services! When we call for a service it’s because we need it now! Not 6 month from now! Money should not mean you get into a service sooner or that you get better service! We need to put everyone first because everyone’s recovery is important in creating a happy and healthy society.