Thought: I wanted to participate in a self harm survey but I was too old. I’ve wanted to go to self harm support groups but they’re either non existent or I’m too old. It’s stupid how in the realm of self harm I’m old, at 22! They treat this coping mechanism as if it’s only done by teenagers BUT IT’S NOT! Us “old” self harmers need help too! These younger people who engage in self harm sometimes make me feel bad. They talk about how they’ve been cutting for two years and are trying to stop or have stopped. I find myself sitting here thinking, “holy shit, I’ve been cutting for almost 11 years….” I feel like the system has forgotten about me. I “phased” out and now I’m an adult and no one seems to care about the adults. Everything is about helping the youth. Us adults are the youth that were left behind and we need help too. I hold a lot of knowledge on self harm but this doesn’t seem to be recognized. One episode of self harm is bad enough but what I know after almost 11 years is different from a young person who has been self harming for a few. I hate this need I have for my pain to be recognized but I’ve been cutting for almost half of my life and this is a problem. I rarely cut, maybe once a month, but this past month was bad. Maybe I need to stop focusing on “its not as bad as it used to be” and actually start putting in the effort in making it completely disappear? Where do I go? Into a system that doesn’t seem to care about me? How long can I pass on that?
