After a night of self harm and having to be restrained from punching myself in the head I have decided that I am finished with Effexor. This does mean cold turkey as I cannot get in to see my doctor and I do not have time to wait. For the past 9 months since beginning to take psychiatric drugs again I have been on a slow but at times fast decent into obsessive suicidal thoughts and self destructive behaviours. I do not want this for myself especially since my past indicates that a suicide attempt is possible.
So, I did not take my pill today. I know I will experience vertigo like symptoms as I have experienced those in the past when I forgot to take Effexor. I am going to look up more about Effexor withdrawal to see if there is anything I can do to keep myself safe and happy through the process.