My emotions are giving me serious whiplash.
On Tuesday I left work early because I was overcome with emotion which made focusing difficult and crying a high possibility. This is
despite being super jazzed about being at work.
Yesterday (Wednesday) I started slowing down around 2:30 pm and spent the whole subway ride home after work thinking about how I would tell my partner I wanted to die (which included coming up with a plan for dying). I then slowly told him about it, he obviously got upset, and I felt a little bad. An hour later I was dancing around thinking about how great my life is going.
Maybe my plan of silently suffering is pretty good, less self destructive and more productive in terms of not wasting anyone’s time with half truths.