Day 12: What do you think about your diagnosis in general? (Some ideas are: stereotypes, commonalities, misdiagnosis, over diagnosis)
Borderline Personality Disorder. It just feels like me. I know we’re supposed to be doing the whole “I’m not my illness thing” but I don’t think I’m ill and even if I did how could I not take “personality disorder” personally. Personality is you, is it not?
I believe that having a diagnosis of BPD means that I am an angry woman. It means I am not fitting into the mold of what a woman should be (ie: quiet). I fight, I yell, scream, hit and just explode. This does not mean though that I am a bitch, manipulative and unworthy of love much like those who stereotype BPD believe.
One big part of BPD that I do not have in common with many who also have the label is a good family life. Research claims that people with a BPD diagnosis experience various abuses at home as children. I experienced none of this. Instead I believe that it is because I was abused by friends and intimate partners that I have become this way. I’m also very open to the idea that my brain is just wired differently. That still doesn’t make me sick.
I believe I was misdiagnosed with depression due to my age when things started happening. I was diagnosed with depression instead despite all the signs for BPD being there. I think a lot of time was wasted.
Overall, and as usual, I’m fine with myself and diagnosis. It’s everyone else who is not.