DBT Skills: Onto the Next Module

This past Monday marks the end of the Interpersonal Effectiveness module in my DBT class. Next Monday we begin 12 weeks of Distress Tolerance.

What have I learned from my 12 weeks of Interpersonal Effectiveness

  • I have been able to identify my favourite adversive strategies  to use and how they do not work for me.
  • I identified my personal values and how I need to work on translating them into my daily life.
  • DEAR MAN, even if I can only remember to use little bits of it (I heavily rely on the describe and express bit).
  • GIVE, I learned that I already practice (act) Interested and Validate and now need to tie it in with being Gentle and having an Easy Manner.
  • FAST, I need to work on not apologizing for everything and sticking to my values (it is ok to do those things!).
  • That being effective in my communication with others (including saying no) is important and good.
  • Not every situation requires great amounts of intensity. I need to look at each situation and use the appropriate amount of intensity.
  • Keep practicing being assertive and finding the middle ground in that communication.
  • I need to get over my blocks to listening because they do not help me or the other person communicate.
  • I need to finally start putting effort into discovering my boundaries and maintaining them as well as respecting the boundaries of others.

I am looking forward to Distress Tolerance because I am seeing how adding it to Interpersonal Effectiveness makes both easier to do. While I do have skills in decreasing my distress I have seen how lacking these skills makes it difficult to communicate. For example, I am assertive with my needs but I am told no, that my needs cannot be met so I lose control and cannot cope. Also, if I am unable to cope then I can most likely not communicate well because I am experiencing too much stress to use my Wise Mind. I have already done the majority or completed the Distress Tolerance module when I was going through the DBT Workbook on my own a few years back and I enjoyed it. I think I will enjoy it even more with others to learn about it with me.


9 thoughts on “DBT Skills: Onto the Next Module

  1. I don’t know if I am jealous or horrified by all the classes you are taking! Sounds like a lot to absorb in such a a short time! What an amazing arsenal of understanding you have! You are not my kid, but wow, I am so proud of you! I am thrilled and delighted for you!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • You are too kind Dee 🙂

      It can be a lot of absorb, but I remind myself that there is no timeline for getting the skills down (although it sometimes feels like there is when it comes to relationships getting messy). I’m glad I finally have this opportunity and can make the most of it!

  2. Well you seem to have learnt so much…I like your comment at the beginning, “and how it doesn’t work for me”. I remember when I was hospitalized and I started the in house program, I was amazed at how much there was to help, so many methods, so many skills to learn….then I found that most didn’t work for me – aahhh! Still it’s all good knowledge and my most effective treatment, writing, gives me an opportunity to pass some of this on.
    Your posts show that you also get something from this form of treatment, keep it up your posts are very good.

  3. I just finished Distress Tolerance and we will be going to Emotional Regulation after a quick review of Core Mindfulness. Distress Tolerance are my favorite and most useful skills. I have dropped out of DBT before Interpersonal Effectiveness, so your posts have been helpful and I look forward to doing that modular.

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