Motherhood & Madness: What I do want to hear when I’m struggling to become pregnant


Yesterday, I posted about the things people say to support me that I do not want to hear. While these statements are well-meaning, they actually invalidate my current situation and do not make me feel better. If I am going to discuss what I don’t want to hear it is important to discuss what I do want to hear as I struggle to become pregnant.

“That sucks.”

Say it like it is. It does suck! B and I went into this thinking it would ‘just happen’. I figured that maybe it would take two months to become pregnant. This is not the case and it sucks. 

“I’m here if you need to talk.”

It may surprise some people, but I do want to talk about this. Letting me know that you are available for that will mean the world.

“Do you want help finding resources?”

This is another great way to show me that you are there for me. Maybe you know someone who has had similar struggles and could connect me with them. I want to learn about fertility clinics, meet others who are or have struggled to become pregnant and read about fertility issues.

“I can relate.”

If you can relate, please tell me! We don’t need to go through this alone.

“No matter what it takes you will become a parent.”

I very much want to hear that there are many ways to become a parent with each of them being valid. Sometimes I need the reminder that there is hope and that I have the strength to keep going until I have the family I deserve.

If you struggled with becoming pregnant or starting your family (ie: through adoption, surrogacy etc.) what did people say to you that was helpful?



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