When I see your scars.

This is yesterday’s Daily Post.

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt: Scars.

The scars from self-injury tend to cause feelings within the people who wear them on their body. Some people feel empowered by their scars or simply do not care that they are there. Others go to great lengths to hide their scars because they feel great shame over them. Personally, I hide mine.

“A scar simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you…”

I hide my cutting scars, mostly on my legs, out of fear. I personally do not care anymore that the scars are on my body. I do care A LOT about what other people will think when they see them. I do not want to answer questions. I do not even want to hear the questions. I don’t want to explain myself. I don’t want to deal with the looks when people notice my scars. I am afraid that if my family sees my scars then it will make them sad. The worst, for me, is the people who may see my scars and think that they don’t look “bad”. This has been said to me before and it completely invalidates my experience and struggle with cutting. So, I hide.

The odd time I come across someone else with self-harm scars and they are wearing short sleeves, shorts, a short dress or a bathing suit I am always in awe. The majority of these occasions I do not know these people and do not feel comfortable saying that but I always want to thank them. I want to thank them for not caring and showing me that I also do not have to care. When I see your scars I feel less afraid of my own and the impact they will have on others. I am less afraid that people will comment. Seeing your scars tells me that I can put my past behind me and be who I want to be in the present and the future. My life does not need to be dictated by my scars. Seeing your scars makes me happy that I am not the only person who has them as I felt isolated for a very long time.

As I go forward with my life, and over 1 year cutting free, it is my hope that when I show my scars I can have the same effect on others as they have had on me.

 

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5 thoughts on “When I see your scars.

  1. Hey,

    I show my scars. Sometimes it’s real hard because some people think it’s ok to ask what happened (shark attack is my go to) or even touch them without talking to you. One guy said I felt “interesting.” What the fuck does that mean?

    It’s not always super easy, but in reality, the vast majority of people don’t even notice. And in the end, those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind.

    Take time to feel comfy. And you can do it in stages. If you ever want help on how to do that, then I can offer some tips that helped me. But remember, most people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice. And if they mind, they don’t deserve your time.

    I needed others to show me that my scars were something I could accept and show. Other people can help remove that stigma for you. Obviously, I’m not about showing fresh wounds, but you’ll get to a place where your comfy showing or not showing your scars. It’s not up to anyone else to tell you the right thing. It’s about what makes you feel comfortable and confident. If that’s covering scars, cover them. If it’s short sleeves etc., than you’ll get there. Whatever makes you feel OK is the right thing. Always.

    Stay awesome,

    Ellie x,

    • Shark attack! I love it!!!!

      I do agree that the vast majority of people do not notice. Most people ask me why I wear pants in the summer more than “Where did those scars come from” on the rare occasion I wear shorts lol. I am finding that as I get older and my cutting days are further behind me that I am becoming more adventurous with my clothing.

      Thank you for sharing your experience! Always a pleasure 🙂

  2. I show mine. Well I choose when to show them. Job interviews are a no no for me! I never get many comments. The odd stare, that I notice anyways. My mother feels more embarrassment and shame then I do, that’s the hardest bit to deal with! X

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